Vulnerability is Key

A book that changed my life is “The Gift of Imperfection” by Brene Brown. My social worker at the CLSC at the time gave me this book when I was going through my separation and she said “Read it, it will help you.” She told me there is a section in it about vulnerability. I read it and at first could not understand it. I had always thought of vulnerability as such a weakness and that no way are people going to know about my life! They won’t want to hear it and honestly I don’t want to share my deepest pain. I read the whole book and something in me shifted and I said to myself I am going to start slowly opening up and sharing my story and see what happens.

The first thing I opened up about was that my kids have ADHD and I too have it. This was something that before I would never have talked about. It was something at the time I saw as a weakness. I decided to create an ADHD support group on Facebook for parents and started posting. The group kept growing but one day I was having a really difficult day with my son and I decided that I was going to share the real struggle of my day with my son. I was so scared at first to send it because I was afraid of being judged and to let people in but I did it anyway. What happened was surprising!

The minute I shared it I started getting messages saying “me too” and they were so happy someone else was also going through the same thing and they were not alone. That is how suddenly I became “the go to person for ADHD”.

The second step was opening up about my personal issues. I was brought up in a culture where you do not talk about your problems. It was difficult for me at first and then I started sharing in support groups, classes with other ladies and the more I shared the deeper my connections became. Through all the deep work on myself I decided that I would study coaching and help others connect within and that is how I became a Spirituality Coach.

I realized that the more vulnerable we are with the right people, the deeper you connect with others and the happier your soul feels. I realized before that time I had friends but didn’t really connect with them on a deeper level. I didn’t really know the real person. I discovered deep relationships with people and by opening up to people and to myself I was able to heel within and also discover what I really wanted and what I really didn’t.

Some things I learnt on the Vulnerability journey

  1. Be careful who you are vulnerable with. Some people are not the right people to share with. Choose the people. Trust your gut /intuition.
  2. The more you open up and face the things that you are most afraid of talking about the less it becomes an issue.
  3. Sometimes the things that we are scared of in our lives are the things that become our strengths.
  4. Vulnerability builds deep connections and connections build stronger relationships
  5. Vulnerability is a stepping stone to courage because if you are brave enough to be vulnerable then you are very courageous.
  6. The more you open up and share your story the more you realize others are going through similar things in their lives and the more you are able to heal and help heal others.
  7. The more we learn to be ok with vulnerability the less fear we have of keeping things in.
  8. The more we open up the less we bottle things up internally and the better it is for our physical health.
  9. There is no such thing as a perfect person and the more we let people in the less people will need to compete with each other and the more they will unite to lift each other up.
  10. Enjoy the journey